YaoiCam!: Yu Yu Hakusho
by Meowiegirl
Summary: I follow yaoi couples around with a video camera. Nothing too explicit. Live! It's Jin and Touya's wedding! Kuwabara gets annoyed! Yusuke flings Puu! Next chapter: Karasu follows around Kurama.
1. Hiei and Kurama

YaoiCam!: Yu Yu Hakusho

  
  


Meowiegirl: Hi! I'm back from my summer vacation! I didn't have any computer-

  
  


Pegasus: *shocked gasp*

  
  


Meowiegirl: -for two months, but I'm back!

  
  


Pegasus: Yay! I can be the co-host- Hey! Where's my shirt?

  
  


Meowiegirl: *whistles innocently*

  
  


Pegasus: -.-U ...Already back to your old tricks, I see...

  
  


Meowiegirl: Anyway, the premise for this fic is that I will follow around yaoi couples from Yu Yu Hakusho with a camera. I'm only writing couples that I know how to. For example, I won't write any Kuronue/Kurama because I haven't gotten to that part of the series, and pairings like Touya/Kuwabara are out too, because it's just random, and there hasn't been a chance yet in the show for it, if there ever will be. Speaking of the show, does anyone know why Cartoon Network took it off Toonami, and when they're putting it back? Grrr...

  
  


Pegasus: Sorry, she rants whenever she talks about the Cartoon Network fiasco...

  
  


Meowiegirl: *finishes gulping tranquilizers* Okay, I'm fine. Uh, the chapters may be shorter. I don't own the characters, just the plot, etc. of the fic.

  
  


Pegasus: Yay! Now I can go watch Funny Bunny! ^^

  
  


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  
  


YaoiCam: Hiei and Kurama

  
  


Meowiegirl: Of course, you all knew I'd do this pairing first...

  
  


Place: A park.

  
  


Hiei: *talking to Kurama* ...I love you, kitsun- HEY!!!!!! Why is that stupid camera sitting there? And why is that stupid human behind it?

  
  


Meowiegirl: Huh? Oh! *starts cutting up some construction paper* Go on! I'm not even here!

  
  


Hiei: Anyway, Kurama, *gets down on one knee- NO HEIGHT JOKES!* will you marry me?

  
  


Kurama: *chibifies* YAAAAAAAAAAY! ^-^ *un-chibifies and begins to make out with Hiei*

  
  


Meowiegirl: *now holding up a crappily cut out construction paper tree as a disguise* I'm just a tree, don't mind me...

  
  


Kuwabara: *walks up behind Hiei*

  
  


Hiei: What do YOU want, you idiotic human?

  
  


Kuwabara: I bought some ice cream. Do you want any?

  
  


Hiei: *chibifies* Yes! Gimme gimme gimme gimme gimme!

  
  


Kuwabara: Oh, sorry, shrimp, it has coffee beans in it, and you know coffee isn't good for small children. *sticks container of ice cream back in the shopping bag and puts it on his head*

  
  


Hiei: *unchibifies* You know what, I'm actually a girl. (A/N: Don't worry, he's not!)

  
  


Kuwabara: *falls over*

  
  


Hiei: *runs over and grabs the ice cream* Works every time.

  
  


Kurama: That was a good trick, Hiei. Now let's go home and eat some ice cream.

  
  


Hiei: This is why I love you, kitsune.

  
  


Karasu: *jumps out from behind a tree*

  
  


Kurama: Oh good God! Not YOU again! So far you've followed me to the movies, the park, the store and my own house! What's next-

  
  


Hiei: *puts a hand over Kurama's mouth* Baka kitsune! Don't give him any ideas!

  
  


Karasu: Kurama, will you marry me?

  
  


Kurama: WHAT? So far you've grabbed me, threatened to kill me on numerous occasions, insulted me, stalked me, insulted my hair... *goes on for twenty more minutes*

  
  


Hiei: *to Kurama* We get the point! *to Karasu* What he's trying to say is no. Now go make out with Bui or something.

  
  


Karasu: *whining* But Bui can't kiss!

  
  


Hiei: Hn.

  
  


Kurama: Hiei, I think the ice cream is melting.

  
  


Me: *still holding up my camera* Meow... Bishies... Must glomp...

  
  


Kurama: Hiei, there's a tree with arms, feet and a camera following us.

  
  


Hiei: Come on, kitsune. If you ignore it, it will go away.

  
  


Kurama: No, seriously, Hiei, I haven't been sneaking into Yukina's herbs again, that was on a dare...

  
  


Hiei: Hn.

  
  


Kurama: Hiei! For the love of fire! I am not high on Makai herbs! There is a shoddily cut out construction paper tree following us around! It has arms, legs, and a camera!

  
  


Meowiegirl: *waves*

  
  


Hiei: *turns around and looks at me* *smacks himself in the forehead* Bakabakabakabakabaka...

  
  


Kurama: Oh! There's Botan! I'll go invite her to the wedding!

  
  


Hiei: Hn. Good. You do that.

  
  


Kurama: ...

  
  


Hiei: What? She's annoying!

  
  


Kurama: *kisses Hiei* I agree completely, but we have to go ask her.

  
  


Botan: *runs over to them* Hey guys!

  
  


Kurama: Uh... We'd like to invite you to our wedding...

  
  


Botan: Ooooh! I LOVE weddings! They are so pretty! Flowers, and dresses, and-

  
  


Hiei: Shut. Up.

  
  


Yusuke: *walks by* Wow! Hiei said more than one syllable! Amazing!

  
  


Keiko: *smacks Yusuke upside the head* Stop that!

  
  


Hiei: *grinning evilly* I hope they get married...

  
  


Kurama: Come on Hiei, the ice cream must have melted already.

  
  


Hiei: WHAT?!?!

  
  


Hiei: *picks up Kurama and the ice cream and runs home*

  
  


Meowiegirl: Botan, can I borrow this? 

  
  


Botan: Uh, why not?

  
  


Meowiegirl: Good. *gets on oar and follows Hiei and Kurama*

  
  


Place: Hiei and Kurama's apartment

  
  


Hiei: Hey! Kitsune! Want me to make lunch?

  
  


Kurama: *tending to his many plants* Uhh...whatever...

  
  


Hiei: Hn. *takes out a salmon piece from the fridge and glares at it. It cooks immediately*

  
  


Kurama: *walks in to the kitchen* Thanks, love.

  
  


Hiei: *turns slightly red and stares at his feet*

  
  


Meowiegirl: *still filming* Awwwww... Da widdle koowime's bwushing.... How cwute!

  
  


(A/N: I have seen adults talk like this to people over the age of two. It is frightening.)

  
  


Kurama: Hiei, I put the ice cream in the freezer, so-

  
  


Hiei: *already grabbing the ice cream*

  
  


Kurama: -it would be good if you let me get it. Your body temperature is 120 degrees! You probably melted everything in there!

  
  


Hiei: *acts insulted*

  
  


Kurama: Awwww, I'm sorry.

  
  


Hiei: Um, Kurama, there's this puddle of ice water-

  
  


Kurama: *steps in puddle, falls on knife that was randomly lying around* Oh my God! I just impaled myself through the stomach!

  
  


Hiei: That's the second time today!

  
  


Meowiegirl: O.O

  
  
  
  


Kurama: *lies down on the bed in the other room*

  
  


Hiei: *serves ice cream, and goes to eat with Kurama*

  
  


Kurama: *has his shirt off and is quite bandaged up*

  
  


Hiei: *turns on Yu Yu Hakusho, even though the evil Cartoon Network people took it off* Huh? What is this s***?

  
  


Kurama: Hiei, I'm sorry to say that that is our show....er, was, before they censored most of it.

  
  


Hiei: *leans over and starts to make out with everyone's favorite kitsune*

  
  


*five minutes later*

  
  


Kurama: What was that all about?

  
  


Hiei: I dunno. Just felt like it.

  
  


Kurama: *laughs quietly* I am rubbing off on you! Or at least Youko Kurama is...

  
  


Hiei: *looks alarmed* I am not sleeping with everyone within a n 800-mile radius, kitsune.

  
  


Kurama: *blushing* Uh....I was lonely....

  
  


Hiei: *grabs Kurama and continues to kiss him*

  
  


Meowiegirl: *leaves when she's blinded by a flying shirt*

  
  


*two hours later*

  
  


Meowiegirl: *playing on Hiei and Kurama's computer*

  
  


Hiei: What is a sloppily cut out paper tree with a camera doing on my computer?!?!

  
  


Kurama: *from the other room* Uh.... I give up.

  
  


Hiei: Baka kitsune! It's not a joke!

  
  


Kurama: *sniffles*

  
  


Hiei: Silly overemotional adorable beautiful sexy kitsune....

  
  


Kurama: Same to you, koi. But you're not a kitsune.

  
  
  
  


Hiei: *blushes* Hn.

  
  


Kurama: *kisses Hiei for a good five minutes*

  
  


Hiei: I forgot sex-crazed. Silly overemotional adorable sex-crazed beautiful sexy kitsune...

  
  


Kurama: *chucks a small ugly little figurine that Keiko gave them as a housewarming gift at Meowiegirl* Go on, shoo!

  
  


Meowiegirl: *leaves* Ah! Next house! Touya and Jin, I see!

  
  


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  
  


Pegasus: Hello everyone. Today the guest-guest hosts will be a miniature fire demon and a fox demon in human form.

  
  


Me: Yo! I'm the host here! *goes all pouty-faced*

  
  


Pegasus: *grumbles*

  
  


Meowiegirl: Next chapter you can host, okay?

  
  


Pegasus: Someone stole my Funny Bunny plush! Waaaaaahhhhhhh!!!!!!!!! T_T

  
  


Pegasus: Hey! Where are Kurama and Hiei?

  
  


Meowiegirl: Dunno. Probably in the nearest broom closet.

  
  


Pegasus: O.o'

  
  


Meowiegirl: Well, this is the end! Next chapter: probably Jin/Touya. Please review!

  
  


Pegasus: Or else Funny Bunny will die! Waaaaahhhhhh! My Funny Bunny plush eats reviews, okay? And he's starving! Waaaaaahhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!

  
  


All: *stare at Pegasus*

  
  


THE END!


	2. LIVE! Hiei and Kurama's wedding!

YaoiCam!: Yu Yu Hakusho  
  


Meowiegirl: Before Pegasus-chan here gets to host, I'm just gonna say I don't own the characters or their shows. If I did, yaoi would run rampant and they would be translated directly and played 24/7.  
  


Pegasus: Are you running for President or something?  
  


Pegasus: Okay! Welcome to the story. I'm your host, Pegasus. These are my co-hosts: the Funny Bunny plush and Meowiegirl.  
  


Meowiegirl: (grumbling) I'm second to a Funny Bunny plush? Oh, that's sad...  
  


Pegasus: Um, today we're postponing the Jin/Touya segment for special live coverage of Hiei and Kurama's wedding! Yay!  
  


Funny Bunny: I'm the best co-host! Oh yeah! *puffs out chest and struts around*  
  


Meowiegirl: *cries like a ninny*  
  


Meowiegirl: *stops crying* I want to thank all of my wonderful, kind reviewers. Chibis and best wishes to you all! I also want to thank my parents, my friends, my family, and the Academy for making this all possible! And where would I be without-  
  


Funny Bunny: Urusai! Baka neko onna! Funny Bunny-sama is in charge of the second-rate co-hosts!  
  


(Translation: Shut up! Stupid cat woman! And -sama means "Lord" or something along those lines)  
  


Pegasus: Funny Bunny! I'm shocked at you!  
  


Meowiegirl: Thank you, Pegasus-chan! *flutters eyes*  
  


Pegasus: Funny Bunny! You have a piece of toilet paper stuck to your foot on camera!  
  


Meowiegirl: The man is blinded by love...  
  


AND NOW, THE FEATURE PRESENTATION!!!!!!!!!!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  


Meowiegirl: Sssssh... I'm secretly taping Hiei and Kurama's wedding using both my trusty 'cam and hidden cameras...  
  


Hiei and Kurama: *walk into the chapel*  
  
  
  


Hiei: Well, kitsune, it's the big day...  
  


Kurama: Afterwards we can go to the hotel and-  
  


Hiei: Has Youko possessed you or something?  
  


Kurama: No, love.  
  


Hiei: Good. You're MY kitsune. No one can ever take you away from me.  
  


Botan, Yukina, Keiko, Shizuru and Mukuro: *run in and drag Kurama off*  
  


Yusuke, Kuwabara, Koenma, Jin, and Touya: *walk in carrying a small tux and some hair gel*  
  


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In Kurama's dressing room  
  


Botan: Kurama! You're finally getting married to Hiei! I knew it! Now, you need a dress-  
  


Keiko: -and make-up-  
  


Shizuru: -and I'll do your hair-  
  


Yukina: -if you're nervous, I'll be a shoulder to cry on-  
  


Mukuro: -and if you don't want Hiei, I'll take him.  
  


Everyone in the room except Mukuro: *glares/stares at Mukuro*  
  


Botan: *takes a bunch of dresses out of a closet and decides on one. She gives it to Kurama* Here. Put this on.  
  


Kurama: But-  
  


Botan: *takes out oar* Now.  
  


Kurama: *whimpers and goes to put on the dress*  
  


Kurama: *whispering to himself* Are there any escape routes in this dressing room? *looks around, the windows are barred and locked, the walls are steel, and the door is locked ten times* Whoa... I guess they really did know we were gonna get married...  
  


Five minutes later...  
  


Keiko: Kurama! You look beautiful!  
  


Kurama: *standing there wearing a bridal gown with a trail in the back of it. It is very lacey with a lot of ruffles and flower designs* -.-U  
  


Keiko: Kurama, sit here. *Keiko points to a vanity set*  
  


Kurama: But-  
  


Keiko: Quiet, or I'll tell everyone that you wear pink pajamas with roses all over them.  
  


Kurama: *sits down* *muttering* They're very light red...  
  


Keiko: *gets to work on Kurama's make-up*  
  


Kurama: Why me?  
  


Keiko: *finishes* Kurama! You are lovely!  
  


Kurama: ...I feel like a transvestite... *Kurama has dark red make-up and light pink eyeshadow and blush on*  
  


Shizuru: *sneaks up behind Kurama and starts to do his hair*  
  


Kurama: HEY! Don't touch that! *tries to pull away*  
  


Shizuru: *knees Kurama very close to ...uh... you-know-where*  
  


Kurama: *stays VERY still for the remaining time*  
  


Shizuru: I'm done, fox-boy!  
  


Kurama: *now has wavy hair with many flowers in it*  
  


Yukina: *in her usual timid voice* Okay, you can cry on my shoulder if you want...  
  


Kurama: Thank you, but-  
  


Yukina: *now sounds like a drill sergeant* GET YOUR HEAD ON MY SHOULDER AND CRY! NOW, F*** YOU! *smashes Kurama's head onto her shoulder*  
  


Several minutes later...  
  


Yukina: *in her normal voice again* Feeling better, Kurama-san?  
  


Kurama: I only hope Hiei is going through something similar...  
  


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In Hiei's dressing room  
  


Yusuke: Here, Hiei, wear this! *tosses a tuxedo at Hiei*  
  


Kuwabara: Are you sure, Urameshi? We did get it at the kid's department... It might be too small for Shrimp here...  
  


Hiei: Hn.   
  


Jin: I'll be over there if you need me. *points to a couch where Touya is sitting, leafing through a magazine. Ears twitch*  
  


Koenma: Hiei, why am I here?  
  


Hiei: To be a pain in the a**?  
  


Koenma: -.-  
  


Hiei: *smirks, and puts on the tux*  
  


Kuwabara: Okay, now, uh, who's the best man?  
  


Hiei: What is this 'best man'?  
  


Yusuke: Your best friend-  
  


Hiei: Kurama.  
  


Yusuke: It can't be Kurama. You can't marry your best man.  
  


Hiei: Oh.  
  


Yusuke: Well, who else are you friends with who would want to get up in the front of a church for all the hot babes to see wearing a Speedo- I mean- a tuxedo.  
  


Yusuke, Kuwabara, and Koenma: *point at themselves*  
  


Hiei: Hnnnn... Maybe Jin or Touya. Kurama invited them over a bunch of times.  
  


Kuwabara: Where are they, anyway? *scratches his head stupidly*  
  


( Erm...noises... are heard from behind the sofa)  
  
  
  
Koenma: *becomes very interested in the floor* Oh... THAT'S where they are...  
  


Yusuke: *blushes* Erm... ...Yeah...  
  


Kuwabara: What? Who? Oh no! There are noises from behind the sofa! An evil demon!  
  


Kuwabara: *runs over and looks behind sofa. Turns bright red and walks away very VERY fast*  
  


Yusuke and Koenma: *rolling around laughing*  
  


Hiei: *smirks and chuckles softly* Hn. Baka...  
  


One hour later...  
  


Touya: *who sorted himself out after the sofa incident* The wedding's about to start. Which reminds me...  
  


Jin: *looking for something in the pocket of his tux*  
  


Jin and Touya: *both pull out engagement rings, and talk at the same time* Will you marry me?  
  


Touya: Yes, I will. *kisses Jin*  
  


Jin: *grins, and his ears turn red*  
  


Touya: Okay, since we're the best men, we should get out there.  
  


Jin and Touya: *go stand where they're supposed to*  
  


Koenma: *gets behind the altar*  
  


Yusuke: *goes and sits in the audience*  
  


Kuwabara: Hiei, are you sure you're not the ring bearer?  
  


Hiei: What is that, you foolish human?  
  


Kuwabara: This really little kid that gives the rings to the bride and groom.  
  


Hiei: I will kill you some day...  
  


Hiei: *goes and stands where he's supposed to*  
  


Kuwabara: *goes and sits in the audience*  
  
  
  
(Yukina, Keiko, Shizuru, Botan, and Mukuro are standing in the bridesmaid's spots wearing dresses)  
  


Kurama: *walks down the isle* *mutters under his breath* I am such a fool, I am such a fool...  
  


Koenma: *says the wedding ceremony thing*  
  


Hiei and Kurama: I do!  
  


Koenma: You may now kiss the kitsune.  
  


Hiei and Kurama: *make out, clothing is almost shed*  
  


Botan: *dumps a bucket of ice water on Hiei and Kurama that she brought for just such an emergency* Cool it, boys! You're not at the hotel yet!  
  


Hiei: *mutters something about the church badly needing broom closets*  
  


Kurama: *jabs Hiei in the ribs, lightly, with his index finger* Look! There's that tree with arms and legs! And it's taping our wedding!  
  


Meowiegirl: *waves*  
  


Karasu: *sobbing REALLY loudly* Nooo! Kurama! We were destined to be together! Er... at least until I kill you...  
  


Yomi: *sobbing REALLY loudly* Waaaaaaahhhhhhh! Who am I going to have sex with? Not like we ever did in the first place, but I always hoped...  
  


Mukuro: *sobbing REALLY REALLY loudly* Hiei! You are mine! Stupid kitsune! He's mine! MINE I SAY!!!!!!!  
  


Hiei and Kurama: *flee the chapel*  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Later, at the hotel they're honeymooning at  
  


Hiei: Kitsune, I love you, and I think that you are the loveliest thing in the world, but I liked you better before those girls got hold of you.  
  


Kurama: Oh, right! *goes and fixes his hair and removes the make-up*  
  


Hiei: Hn. I love you, kitsune.  
  


Kurama: I love you too, koorime.  
  


Hiei: Are we supposed to have a tree in our room?  
  


Kurama: Whaaa? I don't know, let's go to sleep. I'm exhausted.  
  


Hiei: Yeah. 'Night, koibito.  
  


Kurama: 'Night.  
  


Hiei and Kurama: *snuggle together and fall asleep*  
  


Meowiegirl: Awwwwwww... *leaves quietly*  
  


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  


A quick glossary:  
  


Koorime- Ice maiden or ice demon.  
  


Kitsune- Fox or fox demon. Not sure which.  
  


Koibito- Lover  
  


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  


Pegasus: Okay, goodbye, everyone!   
  


Funny Bunny: Reviews, please.   
  


Mr. Mackey: Reviews are good, mmmkay?  
  


Meowiegirl: Next chapter, Jin and Touya! The ears of Awww! And what's under that scarf Touya wears on his head. (Hair, you hentais. It's HAIR!)  
  
  
  
Everyone: *waves* Bye!!!!!!


	3. Jin and Touya

YaoiCam!: Yu Yu Hakusho

  
  


I do not own any characters or their books/ animes/ mangas.

  
  


Meowiegirl: Pegasus has a cold and does not want to host.... But, as I'm too lazy to do it myself, let's all applaud for Sirius Black and Remus Lupin! (Warning: I am a fan of Sirius/Remus)

  
  


Sirius: *bows repeatedly* Thank you, thank you.

  
  


Remus: *pokes Sirius* Stop that.... *is snogged by Sirius* ^_^

  
  


Meowiegirl: Okay. Today we will be following Jin and Touya around.

  
  


Sirius: Whatever. Got any firewhiskey?

  
  


Meowiegirl: .U

  
  


Remus: *whispering* Sorry... You know, being dead is very stressful...

  
  


Meowiegirl: Nooooooooo!!!! Not my Siri-chan! Why couldn't Harry die? It was his fault...

  
  


Everyone: *stares*

  
  


Pegasus: *walks in* I took cold medicine! ^_^ *looks around* GOOD GOD!!!!!! This place is in a state of total...total...total... I DON'T KNOW WHAT!!!!!!

  
  


Meowiegirl: O.oU..... Sit back, relax, and beat Kuwa-baka over the head with the nearest heavy object, 'cuz it's time for YaoiCam!: Yu Yu Hakusho!

  
  


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The living room, Jin and Touya's house

  
  


Meowiegirl: *sitting on a chair, filming*

  
  


Touya: Jin, do you know that we have a tree sitting on that recliner over there?

  
  


Jin: Maybe Chuu got a new hairdo.

  
  


Touya: I............don't think so...............

  
  


Jin: Whatever. Maybe if we snog, it will go away.

  
  


Touya: Yay!

  
  


Jin: *starts to snog Touya but is poked in the eyes by Touya's bangs* Oww! You need to get plastic caps for those things, or something...

  
  


Touya: What, my hair again?

  
  


Jin: Yep!

  
  


Touya: Awww, poor Jin. *sits on Jin's lap*

  
  


Jin: *blushes and the ears of Aaaaaaaawwwwww! wiggle* 

  
  


Meowiegirl: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwww! (I just think those ears are so cute!)

  
  


Touya: Koi, that is not Chuu. Chuu would be too drunk to speak that coherently. And there's no Aussie accent.

  
  


Jin: *squints* You're right! It IS a crappily cut out paper tree with a video camera!

  
  


Karasu: *crashes in through a window* 

  
  


Touya: Not again!

  
  


Jin: Go away, stalker-man.

  
  


Karasu: Do you know where Kurama is? *chibi eyes*

  
  


Jin: *ears of Aaaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwww! stand straight up in fright*

  
  


Touya: Eugh, a chibi Karasu!

  
  


Meowiegirl: -.-

  
  


Touya: Maybe if we ignore it, it'll go away.

  
  


Karasu: You know, I have a name! And a gender!

  
  


Jin: Not you, man! The crappily cut out paper tree sitting over there! *points at Meowiegirl*

  
  


Touya: Anyway, Karasu, get out. Jin, we have to clean our room.

  
  


Jin: *ears of Aaaaaaaaawwwwwww! get droopy and sad* Do we HAVE to?

  
  


Touya: Yes, koi, we have to. Badly. Remember last time?

  
  


Jin: Oh, yeah. Rinku got buried under some of my collections and he was missing for a month...

  
  


Touya: Koi, those were NOT collections. Those were piles of junk.

  
  


Jin: I know! I collect junk! ^_^

  
  


Touya: Oh.

  
  


Jin: Hey, wanna invite Hiei and Kurama and Urameshi and Kuwabara and Chuu and Rinku and...

  
  


Touya: We can't have that many people over for tea.

  
  


Jin: Oh. The first six, then?

  
  


Touya: Sure. But first, let's clean up. You don't want anyone disappearing again.

  
  


Jin: Especially Hiei, 'cause he's so short! 

  
  


Touya: Hey! (Touya is only a bit taller than Hiei)

  
  


Jin and Touya: *walk into their room wearing gloves and scarves around their noses*

  
  


Touya: Jin, koi, why, WHY did you start collecting old sandwiches?

  
  


Jin: Well, I needed something to do after Urameshi's team beat us.

  
  


Touya: You could have taken up something constructive, like... Like... Like...

  
  


Jin: Babysitting!

  
  


Touya: No! Remember the time that we got conned into babysitting Rinku?

  
  


Jin: *shudders. So do the ears of Aaaaaaawwwwwwww!*

  
  


Jin and Touya: *start to clean up junk, and are done within several minutes*

  
  


Touya: The next thing we should do is make our bed.

  
  


Jin: *toothy grin* I know of some other activities that involve our bed...

  
  


Touya: *blushes and kisses Jin*

  
  


Meowiegirl: *leaves. Quickly.*

  
  


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

One hour later

  
  


Meowiegirl: *walks back in* 

  
  


Jin: You know, Touya, that thing is still here...

  
  


Touya: *yawns* Mmmm-hmmm...

  
  


Jin: I'm hungry...

  
  


Touya: *falling asleep* Uh-huh.....

  
  


Jin: I like salads...

  
  


Touya: *falls asleep with his arms around Jin's waist*

  
  


Jin: *picks up Touya and carries him into the kitchen*

  
  


Touya: *wakes up* Whaa... Who... Why... Whehhh?

Jin: I'm making lunch!!! ^_^

  
  


Meowiegirl: *walks in*

  
  


Jin: A salad! You like salads, right Touya? And I'm sure Urameshi and Stupid and Hiei and Kurama like salads too, you know, because Kurama's a plant demon and all, and... *Jin continues to ramble on energetically about salads*

  
  


Touya: Urgh... I need coffee. Am I really hearing my koibito ramble on about salads?

  
  


Jin: *puts lettuce, etc. in a bowl, and then arm-tornadoes it, causing salad to go everywhere*

  
  


Touya: I have lettuce all over me! 

  
  


Jin: Yeah... Oops...

  
  


Touya: Did you actually get any lettuce in the bowl at all?

  
  


Jin: Yes! I did!

  
  


Touya: Oh, good. Let's see.

  
  


Jin: *proudly shows Touya the bowl, which contains one shriveled, wilted, moldy piece of lettuce that no one in their right mind would want to eat anyway* Better than last time, I think! ^_^

  
  


Touya: -.-U Yes... I suppose this time there's actually one piece of lettuce in the bowl...

  
  


Jin: Eheheheh... Ah, Touya, why don't you cook, and I call everyone up...

  
  


Touya: Good idea. *starts cooking*

  
  


Jin: *talking on the phone* Yeah, Kurama, you and Hiei can come over early... You need to escape a stalker?... Might he be very tall with black hair?... Oh... Girl from school... I see... Bye!

  
  


Touya: Jin, once you're done calling everyone up, could you clean up the lettuce?

  
  


Jin: *continues calling people*

  
  


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Fifteen minutes later...

  
  


Kurama: Hi, Jin! Hi, Touya!

  
  


Hiei: *to Jin* Hn. *to Touya* Hn.

  
  


Kurama: Sorry we're late, but our bread-slicer went nuts... *sure enough, there's a large red stain on Kurama's shirt around his stomach area*

  
  


Jin: *looks frightened* It's quite okay...

  
  


Kurama: Can we bake a cake for the party? Hiei and I were going to, at home, but-

  
  


Touya: Sure. Just look out for the electric mixer, it's treacherous.

  
  


Kurama: You're making fun of me, aren't you...

  
  


Jin: That's what friends are for! ^_^

  
  


Hiei and Kurama: *go into the kitchen*

  
  


Hiei: Hn. All they have is chocolate cake mix, I guess that's what they like...

  
  


Touya: *walks in to hear last remark* Or it's another one of Jin's "collections. I forget.

  
  


Kurama: You do like chocolate, right? And you don't mind if I take my shirt off to bake, do you?

I don't want to mess it up any more...

  
  


Touya: Sure. Well, I'll leave you to your baking... *leaves*

  
  


Kurama: *starts making cake*

  
  


Hiei: Hn.

  
  
  
  


Kurama: *pours cake batter into pan, splashing a good deal on his chest and stomach*

  
  


Hiei: *watches cake batter being poured; some errant globs land on his face*

  
  


(Okay, let's take some time out to review here. Kurama is standing there SHIRTLESS with chocolate stuff on his torso. Hiei is standing there with chocolate stuff on his face. Just think about how this might look to someone who walks in...)

  
  


Jin: *has been sitting there the whole time, unbeknownst to anyone, even himself; starts laughing hysterically* I... hahaha... know a joke... hooohooohooohooo... that we can play... WAHAHAHAHAHA... on Touya... HA! HA! HA! HA!

  
  


Kurama: Which is...?

  
  


Jin: Just don't tell him that it was an accident! *has another laughing fit*

  
  


Touya: *walks in, sees Hiei and Kurama* Argh! Nosebleed! *has one of the WORST nosebleeds in Yu Yu Hakusho history*

  
  


Jin: *cackling, a stupid thing to do if you are trying to play a joke on someone*

  
  


Kurama: *blushing* It's not what you think!

  
  


Touya: *laying on the floor twitching due to blood loss*

  
  


Jin: I don't think he can hear you...

  
  


Hiei: *glares at the cake*

  
  


Cake: Eep! *bakes*

  
  


Jin: Ooh! Let's eat! *grabs cake and runs off, completely ignoring his twitching mate*

  
  


Kurama: Shouldn't we help Touya?

  
  


Hiei: Leave well enough alone, kitsune. *grabs Kurama's hand and follows Jin*

  
  


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Three hours later...

  
  


Touya: *wakes up* Whaaaaaa...? Where AM I?

  
  


Jin: *standing over Touya snorting due to attempting to stifle a laugh*

  
  


Touya: What is it?

  
  
  
  


Jin: *snort* Hahahaha... Sorry, koi, I was really really bored... HAHAHAHAHA... And you were out cold... I couldn't resist!

  
  


Touya: *goes pale* What NOW?

  
  


Jin: *brings over a mirror; Touya looks like a large Barbie doll, complete with the hair*

  
  


Touya: *in shock* My hair... My beautiful blue spiky hair...

  
  


Jin: Touya, relax, it's a wig.

  
  


Touya: *pouts at Jin* Koibito, that is NOT FUNNY!

  
  


Jin: Eh... There's more...

  
  


Touya: *looks down at himself- he has a pink fluffy dress on* EEEEEE! *faints again*

  
  


Jin: Relax! It's just Dorothy's!

  
  


Touya: *groggily* Eh?

  
  


Jin: That chick from Gundam Wing? She lived here before us?

  
  


Touya: Yeah... Speaking of that, Jin, where DO we live?

  
  


Jin: Hmmm... Y'know, I'm not sure...

  
  


Touya: Let's go have dinner.

  
  


Jin: Sure, Touya! *stifles a snicker*

  
  


Jin and Touya: *leave*

  
  


Meowiegirl: I just don't have the heart to tell Touya that he's still wearing that Barbie outfit...

  
  


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  
  


Pegasus: Meowiegirl, you haven't tortured Kuwa-baka yet.

  
  


Meowiegirl: WHAT?!

  
  


Kurama and Hiei: *walk by*

  
  
  
  


Hiei: Ugh, I'm bored, kitsune.

  
  


Kurama: Me too.

  
  


Hiei: *gets THAT LOOK in his eyes* Wanna find a dressing room?

  
  


Kurama: Sure! ^____^

  
  


Meowiegirl: *grins evilly* Use that one over there.

  
  


Hiei and Kurama: *run towards dressing room while shedding clothing- no mean feat*

  
  


Pegasus: That's Kuwabara's dressing room.

  
  


Meowiegirl: I know! ^_^

  
  


Kuwabara: *walks by*

  
  


Meowiegirl: Oi! Baka!

  
  


Kuwabara: *looks*

  
  


Meowiegirl: You have to go in your dressing room and get ready for the next chapter!

  
  


Kuwabara: *walks over to dressing room and sees Hiei and Kurama doing...eh...-that-* *screams*

  
  


Pegasus: *high fives Meowiegirl*

  
  


Meowiegirl: Until next time, goodbye! Please review on your way out!


	4. Kuronue and Youko Kurama

YaoiCam! Yu Yu Hakusho  
  


Meowiegirl: Well, I'm back!  
  


Audience: *unenthusiastically* Yaaay.  
  


Pegasus: I'm back too!  
  


Audience: *really happy, dementedly so* WOOOOHOOOOOO! YEAH! YEAH! YEAH!  
  


Meowiegirl: Meanies.  
  


Pegasus: And heeeeeeeeeere's Funny Bunny! *takes out Funny Bunny plushie and makes it "dance" around in the air*  
  


Meowiegirl: Have you been smoking anything odd while this story was on hold?  
  


Pegasus: *to audience* She just doesn't understand the complex relationship between a man and his Funny Bunny plushie!  
  


Meowiegirl: I don't think I want to. Anyway, I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho, Yu-Gi-Oh!, Yami no Matsuei, or Rurouni Kenshin. Kenshin and Sano are guest-hosting at the end, and look out for Tatsumi and Watari. They're in the story.  
  


Kenshin: That we are!  
  


Pegasus: My apologies to all of you that wanted a Suzuka and Shishi chapter, but the author didn't feel like she could write them yet because she hasn't seen the episodes with them in it in almost a year.  
  


Meowiegirl: It will be the chapter after next. So, this chapter, we're going back in time to a few decades ago in the Makai to follow our favorite thievin' demons, Kuronue and Youko Kurama!   
  


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  


Kuronue: Kitsune-chan, I'm going to get us some food. *moves to leave their cave*  
  


Youko: Okay...?  
  


Kuronue: This time, I don't want to come home to you making out with another demon.  
  


Youko: *whining* Ne, Kuronue, it was only once!  
  


Kuronue: That's what you said last week, and two weeks ago, and before that... *leaves*  
  


~One hour later~  
  


Youko: I'm BORED, Kuronue. Want to go steal something later?  
  


Kuronue: Kitsune-chan, that's like asking me if I want to breathe.  
  


Youko: Where should we go?  
  


Kuronue: I don't know, you pick.  
  


Youko: And that, my dear, is what I love about having you for a date. You always let me choose where we're going.  
  


Kuronue: So where are we going?  
  


Youko: I know of this really great jewelry store in the Ningenkai...  
  


Kuronue: What are we waiting for?  
  


Youko: Me. I want to wash my hair. Always look good before a big heist.  
  


Kuronue: Then go! And don't forget to bring a towel! *chucks rag at Youko*  
  


Youko: *catches rag, goes over to stream, and bathes*  
  


Kuronue: *ogling Youko*  
  


Youko: *finally gets out of bath with a towel wrapped around his waist*  
  


Kuronue: *nearly drooling*  
  


Youko: *s-l-o-w-l-y letting the towel fall off* Dammit! I stood on a burr! *towel falls down*  
  


Kuronue: *not blinking at all*  
  


Youko: You know what? Forget this whole seduction thing. Let's just go have sex in that nearby cave.  
  


Kuronue: Sounds good to me! *picks up Youko and carries him off towards the cave cave*  
  


Meowiegirl: *sits down under a tree facing AWAY from the cave; she doesn't want two angry demons on her tail, and starts falling asleep*  
  


Camera: *still on*  
  


Kuronue: *yelling from in the cave* Youko! Your tail's in the way!  
  


Youko: *also from the cave* Hey, watch it! You just slapped me in the face with your wings!  
  


Kuronue: *more quietly and dejectedly, from the cave* Not on purpose.  
  


Meowiegirl: *woke up when Youko's tail was in the way and now has a nosebleed*  
  


Youko and Kuronue: *continue their activities for a while*  
  


Youko: *walks out of the cave, turns around to look at his back* Oh, man, gross! I have dirt all over my back!  
  


Kuronue: *standing a few yards in front of Youko* Well at least your hat didn't get squashed.  
  


Youko: I thought you always wore that thing.  
  


Meowiegirl: I don't even wanna know. *shakes head*  
  


Youko: That has got to be the weirdest looking tree I've ever seen. *points at Meowiegirl*  
  


Kuronue: ...Yeah.  
  


Youko: Anyway, now that we've gotten that out of the way, what do you say we go have some fun?  
  


Kuronue: Finally! Okay, where's this jewelry store?  
  


Youko: *bats eyes and starts purring* No, honey, the -other- kind of fun...  
  


Kuronue: Oh, come on! Kitsune-chan, you have such a one-track mind.  
  


Youko: I do not!  
  


Kuronue: You do!  
  


Youko: *pouts*  
  


Kuronue: Oh, fine. You think about other things than sex...*under his breath*...once a year.  
  


Youko: I love you, Kuronue. *hugs Kuronue* So, now that we know that I -don't- have a one-track mind... *gives Kuronue "bedroom eyes"*  
  


Kuronue: You know, Kitsune-chan, we're both standing here naked.  
  


Youko: I know. ^-^  
  


Kuronue: Why is there a puddle of blood around that tree?  
  


Meowiegirl: *still has a bit of a nosebleed*  
  


Youko: *pouting* Fine. If you don't -want- to have fun, why don't we go steal something.  
  


Kuronue: *kisses Youko on the lips* Thank you! I knew you'd come around!  
  


Youko: Well, let's go find a portal to the Ningenkai.  
  


Meowiegirl: *takes out the Handy-Dandy Makai to Ningenkai (and back) Portal (tm), opens it up*   
  


Kuronue: Right. Well, we found our portal. Now let's go get dressed.  
  


Kuronue and Youko: *walk back in to the cave, managing to keep their hands off of each other*  
  


Kuronue: *walks out wearing pretty much the same thing he always does, but he folded his wings down really close to his back and covered them with a cape*  
  


Youko: *walks out in the white tunic he always wears, high heels, and a curly blonde wig that covers his ears; his tail is covered by a coat* (1)  
  


Kuronue: I...won't ask.  
  


Youko: We're two humans shopping for engagement rings.  
  


Kuronue: *gives Youko a really weird look* Alright... Now, let's go!  
  


Youko: *jumps into Kuronue's arms*  
  


Kuronue: Oof! Youko, you're almost as tall as I am.  
  


Youko: But what if my shoes fall off, or my hair gets messed up or...? *goes on for another five minutes*  
  


Kuronue: Hn. Alright.   
  


Kuronue, Youko, and Meowiegirl: *jump into portal, come out in Tokyo*  
  


Youko: *pokes Kuronue and whispers* That tree is following us.  
  


Kuronue: Are you sure you're not high on... What do those humans call it?  
  


Youko: Soda?  
  


Meowiegirl: LSD?  
  


Kuronue: Right, thank y- Gaaah!   
  


Youko: See? I was right!  
  


Kuronue: Hey, now I'm paranoid. I think someone's taping us.  
  


Youko: And would that have to do with the human video camera or the human recording device that the tree's holding?  
  


Kuronue: Be quiet and let's go rob the store.  
  


Other pedestrians: *staring at the goth-looking inhumanly tall man and the Marilyn Monroe look-alike of a similar height*  
  


Youko: *glares at the pedestrians evilly and they all scatter*  
  


Kuronue: *follows Youko to the store, walks in*  
  


Youko: Can we see all of your biggest, prettiest, shiniest, most expensive-   
  


Kuronue: *pokes Youko in the ribs, says under breath* Stop rambling, kitsune-chan!  
  


Youko: *pouts* -pieces of jewelry?  
  


Jeweler: *lifts an eyebrow, but complies*  
  


Youko: *grabs most of the jewelry and runs off*  
  


Kuronue: *grabs the rest and runs off*  
  


~Fifteen minutes later~  
  


Youko: Mmm, that was fun.  
  


Kuronue: Yeah. Want to knock over a telephone booth?  
  


Youko: Do I want to have sex with you right now?  
  


Kuronue: I'll take that as a yes.  
  


Kuronue and Youko: *walk over to a telephone booth and knock it over*  
  
  
  
Telephone booth: *shaking and moving around* THUMP thump thump thump THUMP! THUMP! THUMP!  
  


Youko: Yaaah! What in the three worlds...?  
  


Kuronue: *puts his arms around Youko* Be careful, kitsune-chan. I think it's in its death throes. Stay here, it's likely to attack now that it's wounded and angry.  
  


Youko: Ah.  
  


Telephone booth: *opens up, and two people sit up; they're both guys and both shirtless- one of them is wearing only little owl-print boxers*  
  


Kuronue: Good lord! It was a man-eater!  
  


Brunette guy in slacks: *puts glasses back into their original position and raises eyebrow at the demons* Do you mind? We're trying to have sex here.  
  


Blonde guy in boxers: *sits up and drapes his arms over the brunette guy's shoulder* Come on, Seii! This is boring. *pouts*  
  


Youko: And why did you have to get eaten by one of these...monsters...to do that?!  
  


Tatsumi (Seiichirou): We couldn't do it in Yutaka's lab because his owl kept flying around and distracting him, and we couldn't do it in my office because our boss might walk in.  
  


Watari (Yutaka): Whatever! I'm booooored... *pulls Tatsumi down and shuts door*  
  


Kuronue: *shakes head and starts walking away* Humans these days!  
  


Youko: Kuronue, look out for the- *Kuronue trips over a child's model car* -model car.  
  


Kuronue: *curses nonstop for about five minutes*  
  


Mother: Excuse me, sir! My child just heard you do that!  
  


Kuronue: Oh! Holy shit, I'm so fucking sorry!  
  


Youko: Yeah, Kuronue! You shouldn't fucking curse around the fucking little kids!  
  


Everyone in the park: *stares at the really tall Marilyn Monroe lookalike with the deep voice*  
  


Mother: They cursed around my kid!  
  
  
  
Kid: *running around cursing his little head off*  
  


Group of mothers: *chase Kuronue and Youko around wielding machine guns* Let's draw and quarter them, or roast them over a spit, or chop off their fingers and toes one by one...  
  


Meowiegirl: *opens up portal again, muttering* Isn't it ironic how they don't want their kids to hear cursing, but they have no qualms about letting their kids see violence? *jumps into portal*  
  


Kuronue and Youko: *jump into portal, come out in Makai*  
  


Kuronue: Well, kitsune, we should go to bed now, I'm tired. *yawns*  
  


Youko: How can you do *whispers in Kuronue's ear* if you're tired, hmmm?  
  


Kuronue: You know, beds serve other purposes than a place to have sex. You know, like sleeping?  
  


Youko: *whistles* Weee-ird. You should patent that idea or something. It's so original!   
  


Kuronue: *sweatdrops*  
  


Meowiegirl: *sweatdrops*  
  


Kuronue and Youko: *walk into their cave together*  
  


Meowiegirl: *sighs* Oh well. I guess our fun's over, until next time on YaoiCam! Yu Yu Hakusho.  
  


______________________________________________________________________________  
  


NewsCam! Yu Yu Hakusho:  
  


Meowiegirl: Jin and Touya's wedding was postponed this week due to an argument over an argument over fishnet stockings. Apparently, Jin stole the fishnets that Touya wears on his arms constantly and put them on his ears. Their wedding may take place next episode or the one after that, depending on when the author wants to interview (read: stalk) Shishi and Suzuka.  
  


______________________________________________________________________________  
  


Meowiegirl: That's all for today. Now, for our special guest-hosts, Sanosuke and Kenshin!  
  


Sanosuke: *walks out carrying a sleeping Kenshin*  
  


Pegasus: *pokes Kenshin*  
  


Sanosuke: *smirking* I tired him out last night. Nudge, nudge, wink, wink.  
  
  
  
Kenshin: *wakes up* That he did.  
  


Pegasus: Hey, we forgot to torture Kuwa-baka again.  
  


Meowiegirl: *smacks her forehead ala Homer Simpson* D'oh! Sano, there's this ugly fool with a stupid voice, and he's trying to kill Kenshin. *points at Kuwa-baka*  
  


Sanosuke: *walks over to Kuwa-baka angrily* Hey, keep away from my Kenshin!  
  


Kuwabara: *composing a love poem for Yukina* Uhh...let's see...duhhh... I know! "Your eyes are like a work of art, your hair is like..." Uh, what rhymes with art? Oh, wait never mind. "...your hair is like a light green fart."  
  


Sanosuke: *punches Kuwa-baka* This one's for trying to kill my koi! *punches Kuwa-baka again* And this one's for writing horrible poems!  
  


Pegasus: *sweatdrops* Funny Bunny says, thanks for reading! Bye!  
  


(As the camera fades out, Sanosuke is still punching Kuwa-baka in the background, and Kenshin is laughing hysterically, while Meowiegirl makes a peace sign and Pegasus talks animatedly to his Funny Bunny plush.)   
  



	5. Suzuka and Shishi

YaoiCam! Yu Yu Hakusho  
  


Meowiegirl: Finally, for you lovely, great reviewers who have been so patient waiting for the Shishi and Suzuka chapter, here it is.  
  


Pegasus: Yaaaay! *hugs Funny Bunny* Funny Bunny is happy!  
  


Meowiegirl: Dude, that is not healthy.  
  


Pegasus: Funny Bunny hates you! *hits Meowiegirl with his Funny Bunny plush*  
  


Meowiegirl: Like I said before, not healthy. Seriously. I'm worried about you, man.  
  


Pegasus: Stop wasting time and let's do the disclaimer.  
  


Meowiegirl: That's your job.  
  


Pegasus (pretending to be Funny Bunny plush): *squeaky voice* The author does not own Yu-Gi-Oh, Yu Yu Hakusho, or Scooby-Doo. She is overjoyed that she doesn't own Britney Spears, whom she thinks is a stupid slut.   
  


Meowiegirl: Right. Now, on to the story!  
  


______________________________________________________________________________  
  


Meowiegirl: *still wearing that bedraggled tree costume, lowers herself into Suzuka and Shishi's house through a window*  
  


Suzuka: Shishi! Get over here!  
  


Shishi (from the other room): Not now darling, I'm looking for my mirror.  
  


Suzuka: NOW!  
  


Shishi: *walks in scowling* Yes, mother.  
  


Suzuka: I heard that, you weird-haired, conceited, Dark Tournament-losing, fangirl-stalked demon!  
  


Shishi: Funny, those characteristics describe you too.  
  


Meowiegirl: Oddly enough, Shishi seems to value his mirror over Suzuka.  
  


Suzuka: That's Beautiful Suzuka to you, tree.  
  


Shishi: *stares at Meowiegirl*  
  


Suzuka: Wait a second... Tree?! How'd you get in here?!  
  


Meowiegirl: Ehh, I grew...? Over night?  
  


Shishi: I'll attack you with the Banshee Shriek, evil creature! *takes out Banshee Shriek and uses it*  
  


Banshee Shriek (in Britney Spears voice): Oops! I did it again! I played with your heart, I got lost in the game!  
  


Meowiegirl: My god! It's horrible! *covers her ears*  
  


Suzuka: *curled up in a fetal position on the floor, twitching*  
  


Shishi: *unconscious due to horrible Britney Spears song (read: unintelligible shrieking) emitting from the Banshee Shriek*  
  


Banshee Shriek: *hits a high note and explodes*  
  


Suzuka: *gets up* Shishi! Speak to me!  
  


Shishi: *still out cold- what is it with fainting bishies in this story?*  
  


Suzuka: I know what will wake him up! *talks in Shishi's ear* Sex. Chocolate. Chocolate and sex? Mirrors. Lots and lots of mirrors! Mirrors and chocolate and sex!  
  


Meowiegirl: Mirrors and chocolate and sex, oh my!  
  


Shishi: *mutters in his sleep* Go home, Koto. I don't like you like that.  
  


Koto: *jumps in through the open window, grinning crazily* When fangirls are on the prowl, never leave your windows open!  
  


Suzuka: In a word, shit.  
  


Shishi: *wakes up and lets out a high-pitched scream*  
  


Koto: Come on in, girls!  
  


Horde of fangirls (including the other Dark Tournament announcer, Juri): *come in through the window*  
  


Juri (in camouflage miniskirt and speaking into a walkie-talkie): We've got bishies S1 and S2 surrounded. Backup and makeup requested. Move! Move! Move!  
  


Shishi: Oh, for God's sake. *takes out Cape of No Return and holds it in front of him*   
  


Fangirls: *rush the two guys* Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! Shiiiiiishiiiiiiii and Suuuuuuzuuuuukaaaaa! Weeee loooooove yooooo- *disappear*  
  


~One hour earlier at Hiei and Kurama's house~  
  


Hiei: *walks in the front door* Fox! Mukuro died, let's go to the Makai. Start packing.  
  


Kurama: *kisses Hiei* Finally! I have you all to myself again!  
  


(Knowing Kurama, you readers can probably guess what that simple little kiss (read: ten-minute-long makeout session) turned in to)  
  


~One hour later in Kurama and Hiei's bedroom~  
  


Kurama: I missed you, Hiei.  
  


Hiei: *blushes* Hnnnn... *cuddles with Kurama*  
  


Fangirls: *fall in through the ceiling* Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! Hiei and Kurama! Omigod!  
  


Hiei: *picks up his fox and jumps out the window*  
  


~Back at Suzuka and Shishi's house~  
  


Suzuka: That happens every day.  
  


Shishi: One time they stole my mirror and my hair styling gel.  
  


Suzuka: *hugs Shishi* Poor baby.  
  


Shishi: I hear the doorbell.   
  


Suzuka: *stops hugging Shishi* And?  
  


Shishi: Go get it.  
  


Suzuka: I'd like you to know that I do ninety percent of the cooking in this household, thank you very much, so why should I have to answer the door?  
  


Shishi: Because I still haven't gotten my hair gel back. Do you expect me to answer the door without my signature antenna-like bangs?  
  
  
  
Suzuka: *grumbles, but gets the door* Hi, Chuu.  
  


Chuu: Yeah, yeah. Where are the sheilas? Where's the beer?  
  


Shishi: *walks in with Meowiegirl in tow*  
  


Chuu: 'Ey! There's that tree Jin an' Touya told me about!  
  


Shishi: Hello? Am I invisible? Incredibly sexy demon over here!  
  


Suzuka: *lifts an eyebrow and clears his throat*  
  


Shishi: ...And over there. *points at Suzuka*  
  


Suzuka: *happy genki grin*  
  


Chuu: *sees Shishi* 'Ey! A sheila!   
  


Shishi: What?! No!  
  


Chuu: 'Ey, missy, whazzabout you an' me...ya know...  
  


Shishi: Do I really look that feminine?  
  


Suzuka (whispering): No, Chuu's just dead drunk.  
  


Chuu: *passes out in the doorway*  
  


Suzuka: Dammit! Not again!  
  


Shishi: *sighs* Second time this week, dear?  
  


Suzuka: Third. *moves Chuu to a couch*  
  


Meowiegirl: *pokes Chuu*  
  


Suzuka: *jumps into Shishi's arms ala Shaggy from Scooby-Doo, pointing at Meowiegirl* AAAAAAAAAH! That tree just moved!  
  


Shishi: *falls over*  
  


Suzuka: Shishi?  
  


Shishi: Get- ack- off my chest! You're taller than I am, and more muscular!  
  
  
  
Suzuka: *sweatdrops and stands up*  
  


Shishi: Well, this is lovely. We've got a passed-out alcoholic demon, a moving tree, a scared clown-  
  


Suzuka: I am not a scared clown, you- you- YOU! *fuming*  
  


Shishi: Sorry, dear. All we need now is for Jin and Touya to come over.  
  


Suzuka: They won't. They're preparing for their wedding.  
  


Doorbell: *rings*  
  


Suzuka: *glares at Shishi and answers the door*  
  


Jin: Hey there! Guess what? The wedding preparations got finished early! Can I come in? Great! Where's the cheese?  
  


Shishi: *smirking* Spoke too soon, eh, koi?  
  


Touya: Sorry, everyone. Jin got into the champagne.  
  


Jin: And the wine.  
  


Touya: Yes, and the wine.  
  


Jin: And Chuu drank all the beer. Hey! There's that tree that was in our house a few days ago!  
  


Touya: I thought that was Chuu.  
  


Jin: Nah. Y'see, Chuu's asleep on that couch there. *points at Chuu*  
  


Touya: Ah. But just for the sake of my argument, how do we know that's not the tree asleep on the couch?  
  


Jin: Uh... Wait, lemme see... Now, we don't, love, but, ah, when you divide the square root of pi by the cosine of an angle no greater than thirty-nine degrees-  
  


Touya: Jin, dear, you're just trying to confuse me, aren't you?  
  


Jin: Nah. How can I confuse you when I've been confused the whole time?  
  


Touya: Come on Jin, let's go home before our friends consider shipping you off to an insane asylum.  
  


Jin: Alright. *grins and flies away with Touya dangling from one of his legs*  
  


Touya: Jin, darling, I think you forgot to take me with you. *gets tangled up in a tree in the yard*  
  


Jin: *also gets tangled up*   
  


Shishi: Ugh, Suzuka, this day's been a mess. *sighs melodramatically*  
  


Suzuka: I can think of something that might make you feel better. *picks up Shishi and carries him towards the bedroom*  
  


Shishi: *jumps down* Wait a second. D'you think Chuu will be alright on his own?  
  


Suzuka: Well, he's so drunk that even if he does get up and hurt himself, he won't feel it for a few hours.  
  


Shishi: Great. *is picked up again by Suzuka*  
  


Meowiegirl: Aww, the concern they have for their friend is so touching.   
  


Suzuka: *walking up the stairs and making out with Shishi simultaneously* Mmph, mm phphmm phmmph.  
  


Shishi: *pulls away*  
  


Suzuka: Thanks. What I meant was, "Hey, that tree's being sarcastic!"  
  


Meowiegirl: No, I was being serious. In your place, I'd have killed him by now. *points at Chuu* ...Or at least make sure that I'd get dead drunk before letting him in.  
  


Shishi: *rolls eyes* How important. Come on Suzuka, I'm getting really impatient.  
  


Suzuka: You heard the demon. Go away, tree.  
  


Meowiegirl: *sits down in the living room*  
  


Suzuka and Shishi: *didn't even make it to their room and are doing...it...on the stairs*  
  


Chuu: *wakes up and sees* Hey! Isn't that a lil' bit uncomfortable? *is not listened to*  
  


~An hour and a half later~

(The camera lens is slightly watery)  
  


Suzuka: *sitting on the stairs and grinning*  
  


Chuu: *laughing his head off* I've never seen it done quite like that before. On a lamppost, in a shoe store, on top of a lit stove-  
  


Shishi: *sitting on Suzuka's lap and being cuddled by said blonde bishie* Really, Chuu, it's okay. We don't want to hear. Really.  
  


Suzuka: You're still here, tree?  
  


Meowiegirl: *glares at Chuu and walks out of the house* Next time on YaoiCam! Yu Yu Hakusho, Jin and Touya's wedding.  
  


(The screen goes black)  
  


Chuu (from inside): Wha'd I do? Wha'd I do?  
  


Meowiegirl (from outside): *quite put out* You drooled on my camera, you drunken oaf!  
  


_____________________________________________________________________________  
  


Pegasus: And that concludes another wonderful episode of The Adventures of Funny Bunny!  
  


Meowiegirl: *pats Pegasus on the back* There, there, Peggy. It'll be alright. I can get you a nice psychiatrist, do you want that?  
  


Pegasus: *puzzled face* Whaa...?! Why?  
  


Meowiegirl: *sweatdrop* Never mind.  
  


P. A. System: *comes on and noises that sound suspiciously like two people having sex are heard*  
  


Meowiegirl: What the hell?!  
  


Pegasus: I'm betting it's either Marik, Bakura, Ryou, Malik, Youko, or Kuronue.  
  


Meowiegirl: *nods* Yeah, probably.  
  


P. A. System: *turns off*  
  


Marik, Malik, Bakura, Ryou, Kuronue, and Youko: *all walk by looking very disheveled*   
  


Marik: Hehehe, that was fun.  
  


Youko: We should try that again sometime.  
  


Ryou: *nods* Totally.  
  


Meowiegirl: *giggling madly*  
  


Bakura: *snappish* What?! We went swimming, okay?  
  


Pegasus: Then who...?  
  


Hiei and Kurama: *walk by*  
  


Hiei: That's the last time we ever do that in the room with the P. A. system.  
  


Kurama: *blushing* Well, how would I know that I'd accidentally pressed the 'on' button?  
  


Hiei: That orange-haired freak is never going to give me the end of it.  
  


Kuwabara: Nice announcement, you guys.  
  


Hiei: *punches Kuwabara in the teeth* Hn.  
  


Meowiegirl: *applauds*  
  



	6. LIVE! Jin and Touya's wedding!

YaoiCam! Yu Yu Hakusho  
  


Meowiegirl: I'm back, and today is a special edition of YaoiCam! Yu Yu Hakusho. It's Jin and Touya's wedding!  
  


Pegasus: *walks in with all of these flowers in his hair and around his neck; Funny Bunny is similarly decorated*  
  


Meowiegirl: Should I ask?  
  


Pegasus: I love weddings! *hugs Meowiegirl*  
  


Meowiegirl: Whoa, man. I'm checking you into a drug rehab center when this story's done.  
  


Pegasus: I don't take drugs! *pouts*  
  


Meowiegirl: Sure. All you do is drink wine and eat cheese.  
  


Pegasus: Yep! *genki grin* Actually, it's fruit juice.  
  


Meowiegirl: *waves her hand like Queen Elizabeth*  
  


Pegasus: What are you doing?  
  


Meowiegirl: If it's fruit juice, then I'm the Queen of England.  
  


Pegasus: Fine, fine. Oh, here's the disclaimer! Meowiegirl doesn't own Yu-Gi-Oh or Yu Yu Hakusho.  
  


Meowiegirl: And now, the story! (Finally...)  
  


______________________________________________________________________________  
  


Jin: *standing in a dressing room* Touya, darling, I'm so happy we got here before Botan and the other girls.  
  


Touya: Remember what happened at the last wedding? *winces*  
  


Jin: Yep! We got lucky behind a couch. *ears wiggle happily*  
  


Touya: No, I mean to Kurama. He was dragged off by the girls and stuffed into this hideous dress.  
  


Jin: Oooh. Wow.  
  


Yusuke: *from outside* C'mon, Jin, we're all going to get a beer before the wedding.  
  


Jin: *perks up and flies really fast out the door*  
  


Touya: Oh, the disadvantages of not liking beer.  
  


Kurama: *runs in and hides behind a couch*  
  


Touya: Kurama! What's wrong?  
  


Kurama: *panting* Botan...Yukina...Shizuru...Keiko...ugly dresses... They got Shishi!  
  


Touya: So what? They're wearing ugly dresses.  
  


Kurama: No, no! They're not wearing the ugly dresses!  
  


Touya: They're running around naked?!  
  


Kurama: No. They're wearing nice dresses. The ugly dresses are for-  
  


Botan, Shizuru, Keiko, and Yukina: *charge in carrying Shishi bound hand and foot and three very ugly dresses*  
  


Yukina: *drill sergeant voice* HUP two three four! HUP two three four! Now, go get those demons! Move, move, move!  
  


Keiko: *nabs Touya*  
  


Shizuru: *holding on to Shishi*  
  


Botan: *catches Kurama*  
  


Shishi (wailing): I thought this was the guy's dressing room!  
  


Yukina: We seized it.  
  


Touya: *poking something squishy on a dress* What is that?  
  


Keiko: Bosom padding, of course.  
  


Shishi: ARGH! What the hell?!  
  


Shizuru: Don't ask. Just put on the dresses and it will go easier.  
  


The three bishies: *huddle together in the middle of the room*  
  
  
Yukina: Back off, girls. They're scared. *winks*  
  


Other girls: *back off*  
  


Touya: That was possibly one of the most frightening things that ever happened to me. *stands up*  
  


Keiko: *grabs Touya and stuffs him into an ugly layered dress that is covered in bows and lace and drags on the floor* Over to you, Botan! *pushes Touya towards Botan*  
  


Botan: Bingo! *puts some bows in Touya's hair and a veil over his face* You make a great bride, Touya! *pushes him towards Shizuru*  
  


Shizuru: *puts lipstick, eyeshadow, blush, and eyeliner on poor Touya*  
  


Yukina: *brings over a mirror* How do you like it, Touya?  
  


Touya: *bursts out sobbing* I look like a prostitute!  
  


Yukina: *smacks Touya over the head with the mirror* You'll wear that and LIKE it, soldier!  
  


Touya: *runs out of the room*  
  


(The same thing is done to Shishi and Kurama)  
  


~The guy's dressing room~  
  


Kuwabara: *hands Hiei a child's green and shiny purple tuxedo* Here you go. It was all I could find in your size, shrimp.  
  


Hiei: *glares at Kuwabara* Didn't we go over this at the last wedding? I'm one of the Best Men, not a child or a ringbearer, you oaf.  
  


Kuwabara: Bite my ankles, if you can reach that high.  
  


Hiei: I'll bite your goddamn head off if you don't shut up.  
  


Yusuke: Relax, all of you! We have to find Touya and the other guys that got abducted.  
  


Jin: I'm so scared, my ears are wigglin'! *points at ears*  
  


Meowiegirl: *gasps in reverence* The Ears of Aaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwww!  
  


Suzuka: Yeah, Shishi will be so upset without his hair glitter.  
  
  
  
Jin: *points* Look! There's Touya!  
  


Touya: *runs in* Jin, hide me. Please!  
  


Jin: *hugs Touya* It's okay, Touya. *looks at Touya* You are Touya, right? Ya kinda look like a prostitute.  
  


Touya: The girls still have Kurama and Shishi!   
  


Kuwabara: My God. Look at Touya. He looks just like my great-aunt!  
  


Jin and Touya: *walk away*  
  


Kurama: *runs in* It's worse than my wedding! I was forced into a bridesmaid's dress! *twirls around so that everyone can see the dress- it's pink, with a huge bow on the butt, giant sleeves, and huge fake flowers everywhere*  
  


Yusuke: *shields his eyes* Shit, man, that's ugly!  
  


Hiei: *grimaces* Fox, you know I love you to death, right?   
  


Kurama: Yeah, and...?  
  


Hiei: So excuse me when I say that your dress is the most hideous thing I've ever seen.  
  


Kurama: Uglier than Kuwabara's face?  
  


Hiei: *pauses to think* Except for that. Yes, Kuwabara's face would have to be the ugliest thing I've ever seen.  
  


Kuwabara: Yukina doesn't think so!  
  


Hiei: *frowns* Hn.  
  


Kuwabara: Hey Yukina! Baby! Come here!  
  


Yukina: *walks in* Yes, Kazuma?  
  


Kuwabara: Gimme a kiss, baby! *makes a kissy face*  
  


Yukina: One minute, Kazuma. *takes out her hair ribbon and ties it around her eyes so she can't see Kuwabara* Okay. *kisses Kuwabara*  
  


Yusuke: *laughing* Kuwabara's so ugly, his own girlfriend doesn't even want to look at him!  
  
  


Hiei: Ch, I have better things to do than sit here and watch you idiots. *walks out*  
  


Kurama: Namely, me! *follows Hiei*  
  


~Meanwhile in the bathroom~  
  


Jin and Touya: *having sex*  
  


Touya: *blanches* Jin, I just realized something.  
  


Jin: *Ears of Aaaaaaaaawwwwwwww! wiggle* Can't we discuss this later?  
  


Touya: No! The clothes I wanted to wear are back in the dressing room!  
  


Jin: *eyes get big* Ah. Shit.  
  


Touya: I'll have to wear that stupid dress!  
  


Jin: *runs a hand through his hair* Touya, I pity you an' all, but could we -please- get back to the matter at hand?!  
  


Touya: *smiles* Mmmm... Of course!  
  


Jin and Touya: *resume their activities*  
  


~The room where the wedding's taking place~  
  


Kurama: Doesn't this building have any good places to have sex?  
  


Hiei: *thinking very hard* Hnnn... The chairs are uncomfortable, the bathroom's occupied already, there are people in the dressing rooms, but-   
  


Kurama: *sighs* Oh, forget it. Let's just do it right here.  
  


Hiei and Kurama: *have sex on the floor*  
  


-Ten minutes later-  
  


Hiei: *hears footsteps* HN! Fox, someone's going to walk in here -very- soon!  
  


Kurama: That would not be good. *looks around* Behind the altar!  
  


Hiei and Kurama: *move behind the altar*  
  


Kuwabara: *walks in looking very shaken and muttering to himself* Suzuka... Shishi... Waiting room bench... *shudders* The horror...  
  


Hiei: Hn. Should've known it would be that moron.   
  


Kurama: Oh, it's KuwabaraaaaAAAAHHHHHhhh!  
  


Kuwabara: *hears Kurama* Oh my God! A ghost! *runs out*   
  


Hiei: Hn. Nice one, fox.  
  


Kurama: Hey, you helped. *hentai grin*  
  


Koenma: *walks into the room in teenage form and stands behind the altar*  
  


Hiei: *muffled* Shit! *he and Kurama quickly move under the altar*  
  


Koenma: *calling to the guests and the demons getting married* You can come in now!  
  


Everyone except Jin, Touya, Hiei, and Kurama: *comes in*  
  


Kuwabara: I dunno, Urameshi, I don't wanna be in here. I think it's -haunted-!  
  


Yusuke: *smacks Kuwabara upside the head* Dumbass. Go flirt with Yukina or something.  
  


Kuwabara: *grinning like a moron- no, wait, he IS a moron, sorry* Hey, Yukina, baby!  
  


Koenma: Baby?! I'm not a baby!  
  


Yusuke: Not you, pacifier breath. Let's start the wedding already!  
  


Koenma: In case you haven't noticed, Jin and Touya aren't here.  
  


Jin and Touya: *run in, their clothes are seriously rumpled, their hair is messed up, and Touya's makeup is smudged*  
  


Yusuke: Touya, Why are you wearing a bow-tie and shirt over your dress?  
  


Jin: *flying around* I'm so happy an' excited an' WHOOSH! Y'know? Come on, let's start the weddin' already, the cake's gettin' stale! *ears wiggle*  
  


Touya: *pokes Jin* I shouldn't have listened to you! Now we're late for our own wedding!  
  


Jin: *grins* You weren't wishin' you ignored me earlier now, were ya? 'Cause if ya were, you did a good noisy job of hidin' it!  
  
  
  
Kuwabara: *gets a nosebleed*   
  


Shizuru: Jin, it's bad luck to even look at the "bride" before a wedding.   
  


Jin: But we did a lot more than just lookin'!  
  


Yusuke: Oh, just start the ceremony, alright?  
  


Koenma: *starts*  
  


(Midway through the ceremony)  
  


Altar: *thumping up and down while emitting moany noises*  
  


Koenma: Waaah! Daddy! Help, it's possessed!  
  


Yusuke: Hey, did I just hear a "Hhhnnnnn...!" coming from there?!  
  


Shizuru: *pushes altar aside* Oh, whoa... I didn't think that was humanly possible...   
  


Kuwabara: *looks* Ugh! Shrimp and Kurama! Gross, man!  
  


Touya: Before this wedding gets any more uncontrollable, let's just say our vows, Jin.  
  


Jin: I do!  
  


Touya: I do!  
  


Koenma: Wait! You just said "I do!" You didn't actually say "I do!" to anything!  
  


Jin and Touya: *already out the door*  
  


Chuu: 'Ey! The ceremony's over! Bing out the sheilas and beer!  
  


~Later, in Jin and Touya's hotel room~  
  


Jin: *cuddling in the bed with Touya* Touya, did you notice the paper tree following us?  
  


Touya: *doesn't say anything*  
  


Jin: Touya? Touya?! Wake up! For the love of... Of... Uh... *thinks* For the love of that tea that you like! Wake up!   
  


Touya: *still doesn't say anything*  
  
  
  
Jin (yelling): NO! The love of my life is dead on our wedding night! *shakes Touya*  
  


Touya: *opens his eyes a little bit* Uhnnnn?  
  


Jin: *eyes widen* He lives!  
  


Touya: *yawns* You did tire me out quite a bit today. Can't I get any sleep? *snuggles up to Jin and goes back to sleep*  
  


Jin: *blanches* Ice...c-c-cold... *pulls blankets over him and Touya* Hey tree, turn out the lights, will ya?  
  


Meowiegirl: *turns out the lights*  
  


______________________________________________________________________________  
  


Meowiegirl: Awwww!  
  


Pegasus: *crying* I love weddings! Especially ones that end in utter chaos!  
  


Meowiegirl: We have a special guest today!  
  


Pegasus: Everyone's favorite cute little Koorime, Yukina!  
  


Yukina: *walks in* Hello, everyone.  
  


Meowiegirl: Yukina, you are one of my favorite characters. So, I'll do you a little favor.  
  


Yukina: Hm?  
  


Meowiegirl: I'll tell you who your brother is! It's Hiei!  
  


Yukina: Oh! The one who was having sex with Kurama underneath the altar?  
  


Pegasus: *sweatdrops* On second thought, forget it.  
  


Meowiegirl: How can you think for me? Huh? *poking Pegasus repeatedly*   
  


Puu: *whizzes by* PUUUUUUUUUU!  
  


Yusuke: *walks after Puu* Sorry about that. Little bugger annoyed me, so I threw it.  
  


Pegasus: *giggling* Yusuke with Puu-flinging action!  
  


Yukina: Yusuke with purple Puu!  
  


Puu: *finally lands, in Kuwabara's clothes hamper in his dressing room, and comes out smelling seriously nasty and looking ill*  
  


Meowiegirl: *pointing and laughing* Yusuke with radioactive Puu!  
  


(Seriously, my mom and I did this when we saw the Yusuke action figure. The description was "Yusuke with realistic Puu". We came up with some more, too.)  
  


Pegasus: Well, until next time, thanks for reading!  
  


(By the way, I'm REALLY, REALLY sorry if I offended anybody with the sex under an altar thing. I didn't mean to, and I'm not really sure about what would offend people, because I'm not a member of any organized religion.)  
  
  



End file.
